She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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