I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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