I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
