I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
