Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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