Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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