he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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