C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
