she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
