My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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