it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
