My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
