weddingsv make me drug and hornr
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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