I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
