You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
