I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
