He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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