Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
