then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
