Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
