Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize