Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
