some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
