Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
