We won't sleep together?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
