he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
