Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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