have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
