How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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