I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
