i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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