The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
