Farmville is her only friend.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
