So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
