oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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