Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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