Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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