It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
