hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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