I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
