why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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