Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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