just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
