Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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