Can Purell be used as lube?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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