I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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