I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
