last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
