I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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