So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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