remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just had sex on a roof
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
