Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
