So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
