Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
