I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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