If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
