I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I think my moral compass just broke
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
