yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
