No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize